In my 20’s, after my diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, I tried to cope the old fashioned way – the way everyone without a mental illness is told to get a handle on themselves again. I believed in the hype of exercise and eat right and all your troubles will melt away into a puddle of endorphins and selfies. To me, the basis of a good life was to have a good job, get married, go out on the weekends. Smile.
Everything will be okay if you just pretend it’s all okay.
Continue reading “Wanting To Die Saved My Life”
I’ve struggled with my weight for most of my life. From as early as nine I can remember looking at the differences between me and slim girls and equating it to self worth.
Continue reading “How Mental Illness Gave Me Body Positivity”
Listen to me and the wonderful Mary talk about mental health in childhood, stigmas, body positivity and more in the latest episode of her podcast – Uncustomary Love.
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!
In January 2018 I began using a mood tracker on my phone. My mental health was slipping and I was on a new anti depressant for the first time in years after experiencing some extreme mood swings over the Christmas holidays.
Tracking my mood seemed like a sensible move, but it actually ended up teaching me a lot more about myself.
Continue reading “5 Things Using A Mood Tracker Has Taught Me”
Are you getting ready for the holidays?
I’ve been accused of being a grinch in the past, and maybe I was but for good reason… (click below for hilarious baby photos)
Continue reading “How Bankruptcy and Breakdowns Make For The Best Christmas Ever”
Can you believe it?
Cross Words Not Wires is one today!
One whole year ☝🏻
It’s been such an eventful year for me in every way, and this blog has been one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done.
It’s been such an incredible journey so far and has helped me immensely.
The fact that people have told me my work has helped them in some way is just mind blowing and means more than anything to me.
I look forward to the future of this blog and promise to pull my all into it for as long as it continues to help people.
Thank you so much to everyone for their support, especially my family, friends and incredible wife💙
CLICK TO CHECK IT OUT!🎥
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Perhaps the hardest things for me to deal with (as someone with BPD) are emotions. So often I feel completely powerless to them. Most days I feel like everything is dialed up to eleven, and if I feel something I’m going to feel it completely.
Continue reading “The Psychological Equivalent of A Burn Patient”
MAY IS BPD AWARENESS MONTH
All of mental illnesses have stigma attached to them, but my personal experience is with my personality disorder.
The word ‘personality’ immediately puts people on the back foot as they conjure up exaggerated images from the media.
But here is the truth…
People with borderline personality disorder are fighters.
We survive everyday as we are overrun with unwanted emotions and thoughts.
We battle to find a sense of identity and hold on to it at all costs.
We are loyal and loving and feel any hurt we cause tenfold.
We’re not manipulative, dangerous or dramatic – we are simply misunderstood.
We are entitled to help, patience, understanding and recovery.
We are deserving, and those who stick around long enough to find that out are repayed with a love like no other.
I will continue to fight for mine and everyone else’s right to be heard, helped and not judged – this and every other month 💙
Like any holiday on the calendar, if you’re not a fan of it you’ll still more than likely have to deal with it being shoved in your face in every way possible. Mother’s Day is no different…
Whether you’ve lost your mother, have a troubling relationship or no relationship at all, Mother’s Day can be triggering as hell. I know it is for me. I lost my mother to her mental health 6 years ago and every year seeing the countless adverts and messages of how special mothers are is like a knife in the heart every time.
Over the years I’ve learned one or two things to help. Nothing will ever truly take the pain away, whatever’s happened, but here’s a tip or two to a) help you along the way and b) let you know you’re not alone.
Continue reading “Surviving Smother’s Day When You Don’t Have A Mother”