An Open Letter To My Abandonment Issues

An open letter to my abandonment issues – or as she will hereby be referred to as, Abi.

Abi…we’ve been together for a very long time, since I was a child in fact. You never understood why people left, why they argued, why they got mad and said mean things or why they slammed doors and left vibrating rooms empty. You felt lost in the silence. We both did.

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Sunshine Blogger Award


I was amazed and flattered when I saw that I had been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award. To say I’ve only been at this a few months I’m truly honoured that people have responded to the blog so much and thought of me for a nomination. Thank you so much to Claire at for the nomination!

In keeping with the rules, see below for my nominations and answers to the questions Claire provided.

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World Mental Health Day

I won’t make this a long one because today has been filled with the voices of so many talking about what mental health means to them, something I have the opportunity to do every day with this wonderful blog I’m so glad I was talked into starting.

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of each and every person I have conversed with since the start of XWXW. You’re all so brave, so wonderful, so honest and so incredible that it’s given me new hope and new strength in my own battles.

So let’s keep talking, keep listening and most importantly – keep going. 

Push It Real Good: Mental Health and Exercise

For a fat chick you wouldn’t think that I love the gym as much as I do. You wouldn’t think that I’ve been known to go 4 times a week for months on end or that my free weight game is on point. I can lift, squat, bike and row for an hour until I’m sweating and panting and feeling more alive than ever.

It’s a complete contradiction, I know, but for someone who suffers with bouts of social anxiety and body issues, the gym is one of my safest spaces.

Push It Real Good: Mental Health and Exercise

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Mental health, moggies, mutts and all that’s in between

Ever since I was born I’ve always had a lot of pets. There’s animal lovers on both sides of my family and so from furry to feathered to scaly, I’ve always been around a variety of pets. I guess this is why I never really thought about the relation between pets and mental health because I had no ‘before pets’ status to compare it to, but it’s obvious to millions of us that there’s such a strong connection there.  

Along with my own experiences, I asked you lovely bunch how your animal friends affect your mental health and you were all too happy to wax lyrical about your fuzz babies. It turns out there’s a whole side to this bond I’d never even noticed.  

So let’s talk about mental health, moggies, mutts and all that’s in between.

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Ten Pearls of Wisdom From Someone Ten Years Self Injury Free

This month is quite a milestone for me, marking ten years since I gathered the last of my strength (at the time) and made the decision to stop self harming. 

This was not a decision that I took lightly, and even down to the last 12 months there have been days where I didn’t know how much longer I would last. But, made it to ten years I have, and now I’d like to pass on some things I’ve learned along the way to all my fellow recoverers.

Ten pearls of wisdom from someone ten years self injury free.
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The Mental Health and Marriage Misconception

With my two year wedding anniversary just days away, this week seemed like the perfect time to talk about mental health and marriage, but probably not in the way you’re thinking about.

I love my wife. I love her more than life itself. She’s an incredible person, my absolute best friend and the greatest co captain I could ever ask for in life… But I’m still fucked up.

I still have mental health issues, triggers, quirks and meltdowns with the same severity as if I were single and I believe it’s a common misconception that mental health issues are easier when you have a partner when in reality –

Just because I’m married doesn’t make me any less fucked up than you.

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Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The other week I watched the BBC Three documentary ‘Growing Up Gay’ about how the LGBT community is more likely to be affected by mental health. The documentary was presented by Years and Years singer Olly Alexander, and delved into the harsh realities of our struggling LGBT youth. The documentary stated that 40% of the LGBT community suffers with their mental health, compared to 25% of heterosexuals.

That’s quite a difference.

In 2017 the perception is that everything is hunkey dorey for the LGBT community, especially in the UK. We can marry, have children, socialise safely and go about our lives knowing that we are legally protected from discrimination and hate crime.

But clearly all is not as it seems.

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Is Suicide Really Selfish?

Yesterday, Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park, took his own life. I’m sure you’ve read countless articles and seen it splashed all over social media by now so I won’t recite the details again. You’ve also probably already seen the conversations around how this has been happening more and more as of late amongst middle aged men of profession (Chris Cornell, Robin Williams).

If you’re anything like me,  you’ll have gone through the comments to many of these articles, especially the one about Korn guitarist calling Chester a coward. Due to Chester leaving behind a wife, 6 children and countless devastated friends and fans, people just can’t get their head around how someone could do that to people they love. So I pose the question…

Is suicide really selfish?

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