Sorry For What I Said When I Was Fucked Up

Question: Should you have to apologise for things you say due to your mental health?

I’ve been toying with this question for a few days since first thinking about writing this post, and I keep finding myself caught between the two obvious answers – yes and no. As social animals we follow certain structures in our social groups and society itself. Even animals in the wild will have their own ways of apologising. Young wolves will submit to their siblings after taking play fighting too far and causing unintended harm. Penguins and elephants have been known to console another outside of their own social circle if there’s been a death. So at first glance it does seem that the answer should be clear, but when it comes to mental health the waters get murky.

Would you expect someone with alzheimer’s or dementia to apologise for something they said? If someone with multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia or another personality disorder offends you, do you expect them to take full responsibility for their actions and apologise?

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R.B.M. [Rapid Brain Movement]: Mental Health and Dreams

Last night I had an amazing dream. I dreamt I was being hurtled into space in a rocket, catapulted from the Earth into a sea of stars. For a few moments I was terrified, rattling around in my seat as the abyss swallowed me, but when the engines finally stopped whirring and I was left just floating, I felt incredibly at peace. Space was beautiful. A vivid canvas of light and dark hanging still as I drifted silently through, becoming a part of the painting myself.

I awoke feeling uplifted and peaceful, like even though I’d awoken back on Earth I was still somehow up there. Hours later, I still can’t get over it. Probably because I can’t remember the last time I woke so happy from a dream. Usually my subconscious is a great place for my demons to wreak havoc, their own personal playground where I am surrendered to their control. I was surprised to have such a wonderful dream when in the evening I had felt so down and lost. I thought for sure this feeling would chase me into my sleep but I wound up chasing space instead and feeling more than free.

So why is it that sometimes the demons of the day to day mental health grind follow us through bedtime, and why is it that sometimes they don’t?

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Certifiably Crazy: Please Find CV Attached

I guess if I’m going to run a blog on mental health I need to have some kind of credibility to do so. Though I do consider myself well educated with a thirst for learning new things only my Google history and stolen book collection could really explain, I hold no credentials in the world of psychology, other than the unofficial award I’ve bestowed upon myself for surviving 26 years alongside the most difficult person I’ve ever come across: Me.

So, in fairness to you, dear reader, before we embark on this journey together, here’s my story…

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