If you’ve lost your mum, Mother’s Day can be a difficult time. The adverts are everywhere, and shops are all filled with cards and presents about how important mums are. No matter how your mum passed or how long it’s been since, it always stings just that little bit more around Mother’s Day.
It’s been over seven years since I lost my mum, so I’ve gotten through quite a few Mother’s Days, and every year I’m still unsure of how the day will affect me. If you’re still struggling with this day you can read last year’s blog: Surviving Smothers Day, or you can continue below as I list five ways you can remember your mum on this day.
Go to a place that reminds you of them
Whether with company or alone, visiting somewhere that your mum enjoyed can be a great way to feel close to them – especially if it’s something fun. Their favourite pub, shop, cafe or park is a good place to start. Maybe there was an activity they enjoyed like singing, hiking, baking or crafting. Pick something or somewhere that’s going to make you feel good.
Buy flowers for yourself
Flowers are always pretty to look at, and at this time of year they’re everywhere in shops and florists. Why not pick up a bunch for yourself, maybe some that remind you of your mum, and put them in a nice bright place in your home. You could even press some of the flowers or dry them and use them in various crafts once they’re passed their peak.
Hang out with someone close to them
Getting through the day could be as simple as meeting up with someone who knew your mum just as well as you did. A family member, friend or your siblings can offer the company, stories and support you need.
Burn a letter to them
If you’re feeling a bit more spiritual, connecting with them through a letter could be a great way to feel close to them. You can set up in a nice quiet place outdoors, maybe your garden or somewhere else that’s safe to burn the letter, bringing stones, pebbles, flowers, incense or crystals to enhance the experience. (Always be safe when burning the letter, don’t use any accelerant and make sure all ashes are out before you walk away)
Share stories online
Though no ones story will be quite like yours, there’s a massive community online filled with people who are missing their mum on this day too. Reaching out to others who are struggling or posting your favourite picture/memory of your mum and using their memory to help others can leave you with a great feeling.
REMEMBER: There is no right or wrong way to spend this day. It’s okay to be sad and struggle, and it’s also okay not to feel sad. There are no rules in grief, just whatever you feel like you need to do.